If I had known it was gonna be the last time I held you, I would have never let you go. If I had known it was going to be the last time I kissed you, I would have never let you go.
I still see pictures of you in my head. Memories etched like photographs.
If I could make you stay with me: rewind time and not set any alarms—five minutes after the other. Or if I could close the door and leave the shades drawn—we’d draw circles on our skin with fingers wrinkled in time; under the covers safe and warm, waiting for the rest of the world to just unravel. I would have never let you go. I would hold you in my warmth and love. You’d grow in my sunlight. You would be happy with me.
If I had known you were going to leave, I would have never let you go.
I have this dream you’d find me in a different life. Telling me, things were different. It was never the right time. You’d hold my hand—like everything was just fine.
The dream always gets cloudy, after you stare me down. I’d lose you again tonight.
I don’t think you’re meant for holding onto. Your blue eyes would always get cloudy. Like the memories in gray. I know now—I could never make you stay.