this is not happy. this is not a cry for help. this is a rant.
sometimes i never want to leave the coccoon of blankets and pillows in my bed
sometimes i get so lonely, I get lost and confused in my own head
sometimes people just dont understand;
it's not always happiness and sunshine on command
sometimes i take pretty long showers
and the salt on the drops make me want to forget the hours.
the hot water cascading and washing away
feels like I'm starting over today.
sometimes i want to open up wide
and drink all the water coming inside
sometimes i feel like im drowning and there is no water
choking and broken.
sometimes when i get out, i blame it on the soap in my eyes,
I try and pretend i'm not dying inside
sometimes i can't make out the shapes,
because the steam is so cloudy and hides all the fakes
sometimes you get kicked down so many times
and you try to look up, but there's no one around
sometimes you really do forget to eat
it just seems like something is eating up at you
sometimes i feel like i'm reverting to pasts
like all the times spent was just a waste of gas
you think you've made it far, kid
until you're drowning in waters too deep
until you're falling without feet
until you're crying defeat
until you lock yourself in
and throw away the key
because no one can save you
when you're lost
when you're gone
sometimes you think you've got it all right
and then you realize it's all in the fight
but youre tired and broken and used and abused
and you're done with the action, because you have nothing to lose.