Sometimes things become so cloudy and unclear. Sometimes it can rain for days. The work we invest and the things we all thought we knew--sometimes all that and everything. Just. Falls. Apart. Sometimes we just get so damn worn down and hurt and lost. We lose focus. We lose touch with our thoughts, our goals, our intuition--sometimes we just begin to lose ourselves.
In a world full of the unexpected and chaotic, sometimes the only thing we have left to do is to let go. There is nothing wrong with just letting go, trusting it all. Sometimes, we need to shut down and just start over. L O A D I N G ---
As we get older, it becomes harder for our minds to forget because we learn. In all the pain and sorrow, we learn to guard our hearts. We learn how to think and fend for ourselves. We look at the world as full of "bad guys" with bad intentions. Even when we've never been truly broken. We begin to ignore all the cat calls by beautiful strangers and the piles of phone numbers in jars for rainy days.
We work on the silence. We find ourselves. Regroup. We fall in love with new things and places. We begin to find beauty in all things and faces. We grow into our skin and realize this is it! I am fully in love with this very moment! This is all I need.
And then lightning strikes.
Sometimes, when you least expect it. It turns your world upside down and throws you out of breath and you try to fight it. Fight it because you know it could be hard and it might punch you in the stomache over and over...you fight it until your gloves have worn and your knuckles are bruised and bleeding. You fight it because you're not prepared. You fight it because even though fate is a beautiful idea--it's only been a myth thus far. Beautiful things always end. You fight it because you don't want to break--set yourself up for utter embarrassment and failure--because it's too damn good, to be this damn real.
Until you can't. You just can't resist the shock of lightning. Sometimes, you find yourself free falling into an unknown emotion in the arms of a stranger--who sees you. All of you in that instant. A lesson you have yet to learn. A strange reoccurring dream that makes you so damn happy that you don't want to wake up. But you will. It's the flash of beauty and brilliance and brightness right before a star burns out. Convulsing through your veins. You feel lost & for the first time ever--you're perfectly okay with it. It's like you just decided to pick up and run, as fast as you can, for as long as you can, and you end up at home. You're tired and your shoes gave you blisters, but no matter where you turn to try and run--you're at home. It's like having magic and never needing to use it. An emotion you never knew existed or felt. It's like seeing a perfectly colorful world, with blind eyes and hearing. It's all the words you thought you knew--had on the tip of your tongue to say-- and they're gone. You've lost all your words. It's when you laugh so damn hard, that your body begins to cry. It's when all of your favorite songs play on the radio at the same time. Mass confusion. It just hits you. And then it laughs at you, kisses you, and makes love to you in the loudest, most painfully delicate of touches.
Sometimes, lightning strikes you dead hot and leaves you burning cold.